Psalm 6

I was reading through the Psalms and got a crazy idea-- what if I were to rewrite some of the Psalms in my own words, making them rhyme? I'm certainly not the first to do this, but I thought it would be fun.
*Note: This is not in any way supposed to be a different version of the Bible or anything, and I worked very hard to capture the essence of the words and ideas of the Psalm, but this is my own personal take on the Psalm.

First read the Psalm I based my poem on:

Psalm 6 (Prayer for Mercy in Time of Trouble)
O LORD, do not rebuke me in Your anger,
Nor chasten me in Your wrath.
Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am pining away;
Heal me, O LORD, for my bones are dismayed.
And my soul is greatly dismayed;
But You, O LORD—how long?
Return, O LORD, rescue my soul;
Save me because of Your lovingkindness.
For there is no mention of You in death;
In Sheol who will give You thanks?
I am weary with my sighing;
Every night I make my bed swim,
I dissolve my couch with my tears.  
My eye has wasted away with grief;
It has become old because of all my adversaries.
Depart from me, all you who do iniquity,
For the LORD has heard the voice of my weeping.
The LORD has heard my supplication,
The LORD receives my prayer.
All my enemies will be ashamed and greatly dismayed;
They shall turn back, they will suddenly be ashamed. (NASB)

My poem:

Psalm 6
O Father, please don't punish me
In anger or in wrath.
My body is faint and feeble;
Remember I am empty chaff.
My heart aches deep within me
As I wonder, Lord, how long?
It feels like You've abandoned me;
Without You, I can't be strong.
Come back to me, O Lord,
Despondence haunts me in this place.
Lift me from this pitch-black hole;
I'm desperate for Your grace.
For if I were to die right now,
How would I give You praise?
Would those around me see Your Light?
How then would they be saved?
As I stare into the darkness,
My eyes fill again with tears.
I'm weary of so much mourning,
Sick of having so much fear.
My eyes wetly burn; my cheeks, they sting;
In tears my pillows swim.
As I think back on all that's been
My hope steadily grows more dim.
I want no more of evil friends
Who entice me more to sin.
My Father has heard my cries of pain
And He leads me back to Him.
I know He has heard my pleading,
He's seen my grief and shame.
"Remember, child, I made you,
Then I called you out by name."
You will defeat my enemies,
And turn them back in shame
While I thank You for Your immeasurable love
And forever glorify Your Name. 
©Ashley Coupe